Ellie’s Dream

There’s a small young girl, not even 10 years of age
She’s laying down in her bed with her blanket wrapped around her tight
She’s whispering
What is she whispering?
There are footsteps
“Please not tonight”
The doorknob twists and and creeps open
He walks in with a sinister smirk
She sees his shadow on the wall and begins to shake
“Please protect me” she whispers again
“Precious,” his wicked voice whispers
She slowly begins to curl up in a ball
He closes the door behind him and chuckles
She lay frozen
He rips the blanket off and begins to tug on her clothes
She tries to stop him but to no avail
Instead he smiles again
He likes it when she fights back, it amuses him
He holds her down
She squirms
His pants are already at his feet and he wastes no time
He’s already forced himself inside her
Deeper and deeper with every second
Bleeding
She’s bleeding
“Ouch!”
She feels like something is ripping
She starts to cry as she screams, “Stop!”
But he just puts his hand over her mouth and goes deeper
“Stop” she muffles
Tears rolling down her face
But he doesn’t
In and out, in and out
Deeper and deeper each time
He stops for a second and takes a deep breath as he looks at her with a grin
She covers her face with her small hands
He whispers something
She cringes in fear by the sound of his voice
He strokes her leg then pulls up his pants
He creeps open the door once more and disappears into the dark
She lay there in anguish
“I hate you God!” she cries, “You never protect me!”

Ellie wakes up drenched in sweat. Her body trembling. Her heart thrashing. It’s completely silent but she could still hear the little girl crying for help. She sits up and takes three deep breaths. It was the same dream for the fourth time this week. She walks to the bathroom, pats some water on her face, glimpses into the mirror and sees the little girl looking back at her. “Why didn’t He help me?” Ellie closes her eyes and starts to cry. It’s been years now and she’s still taunted by these vivid dreams. I know because Ellie is me.

11 thoughts on “Ellie’s Dream

  1. Very powerful poem. I think the way the sentences are broken up really gives impact more than just a story. You really have a talent. (I’m sorry if this did really happen to you and I hope you are finding a way through it).

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  2. The day I experience the love of God for the first time was the day that God showed me that while I was being raped, Jesus felt all the pain with me and wept with me. There is no one who knows me and loves me like Jesus. Evil people controlled demonically are responsible for what happened ton you. I promise that God will bring beauty out of the ashes and healing to your soul from the despicable and heartless things that were done against you as a little girl. Our God is a God of justice and goodness, and He will one day make it right.

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  3. I am tearing. I’m tearing because I know this happens more often than anyone would like to admit. The worst part is that it is frequently a ‘loved’ one. I can’t imagine the burden of having this over you for the rest of your life. Some people cope, but others can’t and that’s where it sucks the most.

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  4. I am crying. You are a brave and courageous young woman for coming into the light with this sweetheart. God’s healing light. The enemy would want you to keep this in the dark where he can torment you even more than your soul already is. We live in such a fallen world. I don’t know why God didn’t stop it from happening but I do believe He was there and hurting with you. And as hard as it is to believe now, He can heal you and will use your pain to reach so many women who are not able to step into the light with this because the enemy has them convinced they can’t. Please don’t stop blogging and writing as you walk with God through the years. Be honest with God with what you are feeling. He can take it! But I pray that you will never turn away from Him and walk away. The enemy has already done enough damage! I am believing for a huge breakthrough for you sweet friend. God is for you and so are we! Praying you on! ❤ Much love, Donna

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  5. What a powerful and heart wrenching story. I’m so sorry for all that you have been through. I’m sure your story rings true for many young women who have had to live through that. You are a beautiful strong woman today.

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  6. My sister is a sexual abuse therapist. Unfortunately, being violated as a child occurs way too often. I wish you well and thank you for your courage to share.

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  7. Thank you so much for sharing something that is so personal to you. Writing can be so cathartic, but I’m sure there’s still so much more that needs healing. It saddens me deeply how many people are starting to come forward, saying they have been sexually assaulted.

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  8. It saddens me to read about your experience. And I agree with what many of the others have said, I know it can’t be an easy thing to share your story so openly

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