If Only

Areas on a surface, unlike its surroundings. Lesions left on one’s body where a wound occurred and fibrous connective tissue has now formed. A visible stain. These marks are known as scars. Most scars are spotted almost effortlessly. Most. There are also scars you can’t see. Are those also spotted almost effortlessly? No.
It took me quite some time to realize that not all wounds are visible. Some people are seared in scars that have no physical evidence. I have scars. Scars that make me feel inadequate. Scars that make me feel ashamed. Scars that make me feel damaged and dirty. Scars that make me feel undeserving.
These feelings often cause us to obstruct our own future.
The thing about scars is, they already happened, they’re part of the past. Past by its very definition is what has happened previously. But we can still be haunted by what has happened previously.
I am.
There are parts of my past that I have tried extremely hard to suppress yet I still have very vivid memories, some would even call them out of body experiences. It’s like I’m there again, watching myself, seeing the scars as they form and I’m yelling at myself to run, to hide, to scream, to shout, to ask for help. Sometimes I relieve those moments over and over and over again. Sometimes those moments seem endless. Sometimes I feel trapped in what are now only memories. Sometimes I can’t sleep. Sometimes I can’t breathe. It’s overwhelming.
And that’s where they want us. Trapped in things that have happened previously, unable to see past it, blind to where and what and who we could be if only we would stop allowing our scars to have sovereignty.
If only.
If only we could see that scars are merely marks. If only we knew that our scars told a story. If only we believed that our scars showed us that although we have suffered, we have also survived.
Our scars shouldn’t bring shame. Our scars shouldn’t be hidden. Our scars should be shared. Our wounds prove that we are warriors. Brave men and women who took a stand, who fought even when it seemed like every area of our lives were simultaneously infiltrated. The invasion may have marked us, but it didn’t stop us.
Areas on a surface, unlike its surroundings. Lesions left on one’s body where a wound occurred and fibrous connective tissue has now formed. A visible stain. These marks are known as scars. Most scars are spotted almost effortlessly. Most. There are also scars you can’t see.

Are you seared in scars that have no physical evidence?
Please share your story with me.
Comment below or write anonymously.

8 Comments

  1. This goes so beautifully with what I just blogged about! I too have scars, deep ones that cause me to have night terrors almost every single night. Sometimes they linger in the waking hours but I have had to learn how to move past them and renew my mind daily. Scars are indeed proof that we have survived trauma and it has shaped us into might warriors! Thank you for sharing!

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  2. Wow, thank you for being vulnerable and sharing your experiences. We all have invisible scars, some more than others, and it’s so good that you are opening up and letting people know they aren’t alone in this. X

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  3. This is my absolute favorite line: “if only we would stop allowing our scars to have sovereignty.” Yes! What an engaging read! I enjoyed how you brought it back to the beginning lines again. Blessings! Tweeting!

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  4. ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ I hope that one day all you see is “survivor” “warrior” and “healed” when you see those scars. Thank you for being so vulnerable. It was beautifully written.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Your scars are beautiful sweet sister!! You are a survivor! I totally agree, some scars are not visible. My girlfriend always says that we just never know what someone is going through! So true!! Bless you this Valentine’s Day!!! ❤

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  6. I love remembering that my scars are reminders of God’s faithfulness. He has brought me through and has never left me. He has given me strength. And my scars remind me that He, too, has scars.

    Liked by 1 person

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